The Joy of Today

I woke up with a little tickle in my throat today, so I cancelled my dinner plans to allow for more rest.  After school, Peter had a big bipolar meltdown when I refused to give him (again) the allowance he got on Sunday.  Then it was time for a haircut, not Peter's favorite activity at the best of times.  And so the meltdown continued. 

"My hair is FINE!  It's FINE!  I HATE haircuts!  I don't CARE if my hair is messy for India!  I HATE India!  I'm not going! Why can you just leave me ALONE?"

(lather, rinse, repeat about 100 times)

Eventually it segued into its final act: "Everybody HATES me!  Why do I have to have bipolar?  It's not FAIR!  I HATE bipolar!  Nobody loves me in this family!  Why do I always have to be in special ed?  Nobody ELSE is in Special Ed!"

And then the finale:

"Moooommmmmyyyyyy ....." (finally coming to me for consolation)

Mind you, he loves special ed, and he certainly wants to come on the trip to India.  He just didn't get something he wanted, and then he had to get a haircut.  Welcome to my life.  (Fellow parents of bipolar kids, I know it's your life too).

In the car on the way to the salon I mentioned that I would be home for dinner.  Would he like me to make him grilled cheese?  Eggs?

No, neither of those.  He wanted homemade pancakes.  On the BIG griddle (groan, more cleanup).  Yes, he'd cook the sausages while I did the pancakes.  OK, he'd bring up the griddle for me.

There is a Petco next to the hair salon, and the moment he saw it he asked if we could go inside after his haircut to see the animals.  By the time we got there he was his rapturous self again.  He walked over to every small kid in the store, crouched down, took their hands, and said, "Hi, I'm Peter!  What's your name?"  (Little kids follow him like the Pied Piper.  I can't wait until we make our orphanage visits in India).

And then there were cats.  A fat 9-year-old male whose owner had recently died.  Oh, so much conversation around that!  Two orange and white youngsters who were dying to be played with.  And best of all -- one of the employees had brought her young cat to work with her, and he was walking around after her on a LEASH!  This cat definitely thought he was a dog, except when he scampered up on a high-rise kitty palace and refused to come down.  Peter couldn't get enough of him.

It's so easy to make him happy.

Since Peter gets a dollar for sitting through a haircut without complaining (which he did, with the help of a cold bottle of water from the salon), he had to stop at 7-Eleven on the way home so he could spend it.  He also had his dollar for getting himself up and out in the morning without help.  Before browsing, he had to give the two Indian guys behind the counter high-fives.  They see him almost every day.  Then I saw him wandering all over the store deciding what to buy.  I never know how many circuits he's going to do before he hops back in the car with a mile-wide grin on his face.  This time he was quick, and his grin was for a big bag of the latest variety of Cheetos.

I love it when he's happy.

At home I threw together a warm caramel apple pancake topping and whipped up a batch of my "extra love" dinner pancakes.  Peter cooked the turkey breakfast sausages to perfection. It was all delicious. 

While I was making the topping, Peter did his usual browsing on eBay and Amazon for used computer games, DVDs, and video games.  He's finally learned that the final price always includes postage.  That took a while.  Now he keeps an eye out for items with free postage.  Today he found a 4-DVD set of one of his favorite cartoons for only $10 -- "and free postage, too, Mommy!"  I said, "Wow!  That's great!  As soon as you save up $10, you let me know and we'll order it right away!"

If this exchange had happened earlier, he would have perseverated on "I never get ANYTHING!  Everybody is so MEAN to me!  You HATE me!  How come LEO gets everything he wants?"

Mind you, Leo never got everything he wanted, not by a long shot, and now he works 50 hours a week so he can spend his money as he likes. 

But you never, never, ever argue with a bipolar person when they're having a meltdown.  Silence is the ONLY option.  Earlier I had gone into silent mode while he was ranting about the haircut.  Eventually he yelled from his bedroom, "You don't even LISTEN to me!"  I counted to 5 and replied, "I'm listening ... I'm just not answering".   And now a quiz: was this a good thing to do?  NO, it was NOT a good thing to do.  When will I learn?

But that is all past us now.  It is a happy evening.  The dishes are done.  We leave for India in 6 days.  I just picked up a prescription for a mild sedative that he'll take throughout the trip.  No, not related to his bone marrow failure, but something I had planned for all along.  His psychiatrist "gets it".  We don't want him to be woozy, just a teensy bit loose.  Then both of us will have a good time.

It will definitely be better if he doesn't scream "Leave me alone!  I hate you!  Don't touch me!" in the street while we're in India.  They're really sensitive right now about foreign adoption, with the tendency to see us as kidnappers with big wallets.  Yeah, I'll be carrying his adoption papers.  He's too precious to lose.

Caramel Apple Pancake Topping

Peel, core and slice 1-2 apples per person

Toss apples with:

• Enough flour to lightly coat them
• Apple pie seasoning to taste
• A few dashes of salt
• As much brown sugar as you want (we like Splenda Brown Sugar Blend for Baking instead)

Melt a tablespoon or two of butter in a deep skillet with a lid (we like lowfat buttery spread instead).  Throw apples into the skillet.  Add a squirt or two of lemon juice to accentuate the apple flavor.  Stir and fry over medium-high heat until the sugar has melted and the apple slices are evenly coated with the flour/sugar/spice mixture.  Cover tightly and reduce the heat to low.  Continue braising for another 20 minutes, until the apple pieces are just tender and the sauce is thick.  Stir and serve hot with pancakes, waffles or french toast.


Mom's "Extra Love" Dinner Pancakes

Measure out enough "Buttermilk Complete" pancake mix to make 4 pancakes per person.

Beat as many eggs as there are people in a small bowl until well-blended.  (Yes, I know it's supposed to be COMPLETE.  But this is the "extra love" part!)

Pour the eggs into a 2-cup measure.  Add enough milk (we like 1%) to yield the amount of liquid suggested for the number of pancakes you are making.  (Yes, I know the box calls for water.  See above!)

Add the liquid ingredients to the dry mix and whisk until most of the lumps are out.

I don't need to tell you how to cook pancakes.  Do them the way you like them.  We like to use a 1/3 cup measure to make big ones, about 3 per person.  With the extra eggs and milk they rise up nice and tall.  You may want to turn the temperature down just a bit to make sure that the center is cooked before the outside gets too brown.

These pancakes don't leave you feeling hungry an hour after dinner.