October 16, 1994 ... Peter is born to Sumita Das, an unmarried 27-year-old woman living in Serampore, West Bengal.
October 17, 1994 ... Peter is transferred to the Society for Indian Child Welfare's foundling home in central Kolkata. He is given the name Rohit. Although he was reported to be full-term, his weight is only 3 lb 6 oz. He requires oxygen and tube feeding.
October 31, 1994 ... Family friend Jerri Jenista returns from a visit to SICW with word of a tiny baby boy named Rohit.
December 9, 1994 ... The official referral for Peter finally arrives. Aside from a minor foot malformation, he is deemed to be healthy and normal.
April 13, 1995 ... Peter is escorted home from Kolkata by Jerri Jenista, her niece and her four Indian daughters. Chris's mom, Jeanne Braen, brings him from Detroit to New Jersey and places him in her daughter's arms. He is welcomed home with great celebration by Chris, Carl, brother Leo Rajan (now 23) and sister Anne Shanti (now 20), as well as Chris and Carl's parents and Peter's Godmother, Judy Dechent. Peter is a beautiful baby, in excellent health and perfect in every way.
Peter's medical records indicate that he narrowly survived RSV, a serious respiratory illness, before he came home. In May of 1995, he has another bout with RSV. He returns home with a nebulizer. For the next several years, he requires 3 nebulizer treatments a day, and when he has a cold, his parents get up to nebulize him every 4 hours around the clock. Around age 1, Peter begins to suffer from intractable constipation. His appetite is extremely poor, and he is diagnosed with "failure to thrive". After numerous tests, no cause is found. Chris decides -- on a hunch -- to remove gluten from his diet. He immediately begins to pass normal stools. Chris feeds him continuously with small amounts of high-calorie foods. He will not need a feeding tube.
At age 3, Peter begins attending preschool special education classes with Lissa Abraham, the gifted teacher who worked with Leo and Annie at the same age. Around 4 1/2, Peter "outgrows" his respiratory and digestive problems. He no longer needs a nebulizer and eats a normal diet. As with his brother and sister, he is incredibly tiny, has a very small head, and is developmentally delayed. He is usually cranky, oppositional and hard to manage, but but he also has brief periods of elation. When he's in a happy mood, he is almost rapturous. He giggles and hugs and reminds his family what a loveable child he is.
At age 4, Peter begins taking Zoloft to reduce his crankiness. He becomes a bit more calm, and his progress in preschool improves. After a brief examination, Peter's pediatric neurologist tells Chris that Peter has serious cognitive and neuro-psychiatric issues and will never be normal. Chris and Carl take this warning with a large grain of salt, since dire predictions were sometimes made about Leo and Annie too.
Peter's pediatrician suggests a consultation with a geneticist. She sees enough in Peter's history and exam to suggest that there could be genetic issues, but tells Chris and Carl that testing will not change anything about the way he is treated and managed. She is right. Because he was so small for gestational age and is not growing well, Peter qualifies for growth hormone injections. Chris and Carl ultimately decline the offer because of Peter's extreme crankiness and hyper-reactivity to stress. Just getting through a normal day is a struggle involving much shrieking.
Peter starts sensory integration therapy to help overcome his many sensory issues. He is unable to tolerate many ordinary activities and situations. He will not allow a toothbrush in his mouth. He will not allow his hair to be combed or his face to be wiped. Haircuts must be done in less than 3 minutes to keep him from screaming until he vomits. Potty training is impossible until he is 5. Even after that, he has frequent accidents, which continue into his teen years, along with his bedwetting.
Chris does some desperate research and discovers that Peter has all the symptoms of acute early-onset bipolar disorder. This is a somewhat controversial diagnosis, but Chris is sure. In early 2001, the family moves from New Jersey to Illinois. Chris takes Peter to Children's Hospital in Chicago for psychiatric evaluation. The doctors there are not willing to diagnose juvenile bipolar disorder "yet". Peter is in an excellent special education program, but he loses his entire kindergarten year because he melts down constantly.
When Peter is 8, Chris takes him to a psychiatrist who specializing in juvenile bipolar disorder. The diagnosis is finally made, and Peter begins to take medication. His mood improves and he becomes a bit more manageable, but he puts on weight so rapidly that his body is covered in stretch marks. Nevertheless, the medication is a necessity. It allows the "real Peter" to emerge more often, a boy with sparkling eyes, an infectious laugh, incredible empathy and hugs for everyone.
Peter still experiences rapidly cycling moods, but the peaks and valleys are a bit less intense. His teachers are finally able to complete an educational evaluation. Peter has delays in all areas and an IQ that places him in the "high-functioning mentally retarded" category. His IEP is modified to ensure that he receives exactly the services he needs, with a behavior management plan to help him when he has major meltdowns at school.
Peer relationships are difficult for Peter. He is often lonely, and doggedly visits the local park and neighbors' houses so that he can hang out with other kids. In the summer, he is able to attend regular day camp with a full-time psychiatric aide. Even at the best of times, nothing is easy. Junior high brings terrible teasing and name-calling on the bus. Despite warnings and consequences, some children ridicule him for his small head, short stature, obesity, dark color, emotional outbursts and cognitive impairment. Peter often thinks that other people hate him, and frequently says he hates himself.
High school is a better time. The other students are friendly and understanding. They "get it". Peter's mood swings continue, but major meltdowns are a thing of the past. Peter is thrilled to be a teenager, and loves to tell people his age and grade. He's proud of his many accomplishments. He gains basic math and reading skills, and learns how to cook. He often prepares his own meals and snacks, and bakes brownies for the family.
Peter loves burgers and fries, sushi, pad thai, pakoras, chapatis, tandoori chicken and gulab jamun. He adores having friends and family around him at home. He is besotted with the family cat, Tashi. He rides his bike to 7-Eleven, Subway and the library. He spends his allowance the moment it hits his pocket, usually on treats for himself but often on treats for others as well. Giving gifts brings him a special joy. He loves babies and toddlers, and is very gentle and empathetic with them. Every school night, he does a little homework completely on his own.
The high point of each year is attending SPICE Indian Heritage Camp in Johnstown, PA. He has attended every year since infancy. His SPICE friends -- kids, teens and parents -- know and accept him. He spends every moment at SPICE in a warm glow. When he is 14, he finally goes on stage to participate in the children's program. He's very proud of himself.
January 2010 -- Chris decides that Peter is finally ready for a visit to India. She plans and books a once-in-a-lifetime trip, along with another adoptive family with a 13-year-old daughter from India. The departure date is November 23. As the months go by, Peter is more and more excited. He tells everyone he meets that he is going to India, because he is finally ready.
A few months before his 16th birthday, Peter starts taking a new antidepressant in conjunction with his other medication. He enters the happiest, most peaceful time of his life. He is no longer overwhelmed by moods he can't control. He is able to develop reciprocal relationships. His siblings are happier to have him around. For the first time, he is willing to perform some simple chores around the house. He often eats at the table with the rest of the family. He sets alarms and gets up to urinate so that his bed stays dry. He likes himself.
10th grade is going well. His grades are good. He is making progress on all his IEP goals, and learning lots of important life skills. He's more involved in the world at large. His teachers love him. He gives and receives lots of hugs every day, and tells his family he loves them at every opportunity. Before the trip to India, Chris takes him to Children's Hospital for an evaluation for failed puberty. Peter is still physically a 4th grader, and it is time for him to grow up.
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